What Expectations Does Society Place On Men & Women Today?

   In Northanger Abbey, Catherine Moreland and Henry Tilney joke about the expectations their society places on young people regarding dating & courtship. So that leads us to the question, 'What expectations does our culture place on males and females today?' Here are some responses to that question.

 "Society places a lot of pressure on teenagers and young adults when it comes to dating.  Some of these include the pressure to be in a relationship with someone because that is what everyone else is doing.  Also, if he is not interested in you for a relationship, then the friendship is not worth it to the world.  Our world has also come to place less emphasis on the Marriage part of the relationship, which is supposed to be the goal of the relationship.  Also, it is common for a girlfriend and boyfriend today to believe they own their partner to an extent that it is almost like they are in a unofficial marriage together.

 I believe it is important, when dating, or approaching the dating world, that you aren't looking for a boyfriend, rather, looking for good friends, and if one turns out to be who God has chosen for you, that is great!  It is very important, although marriage is the goal, to not treat the dating relationship as if it is a marriage.  You have not committed to this person, but at the same time you are learning commitment, so that you are ready when the marriage part does come."--MaryBeth Duren                                                                           

"Our culture today has less standards than Austen's and when it comes to dating/courtship there is much more freedom.  Young people tend to base their attraction on appearance.   The prospect of marriage is not taken as seriously because we focus on having fun and forget the significance of dating.  Although we should enjoy dating, we need to find someone who we can have a God-centered relationship with."--Ashlyn Freemyer                                                                                                                                          

  

 "Not much is expected of males and females in our society. There are low standards when it comes to dating and courtship. Propriety and discretion are not enforced. The slogan, “girls will be girls” or “boys will be boys” reflects our cultures worldview. Our society thinks young males and females cannot help themselves if, for instance, they have sex outside of marriage. The only expectations our society places is to allow the young people to “follow their hearts” and to “be what you want to be,” not what you should be."--Evangeline Lewis                                                                                                                                                     

"One expectation that I've noticed recently is the idea that a friendship between a guy and girl automatically means that there's a romantic interest hidden somewhere. In my own personal experience, you can't be 'just friends' to the outside looking in. This expectation isn't good - nor is it healthy for a friendship."--Petra Reini                                                                                                                                                    

 "Our culture places many expectations upon males and females but they are very different from those that Catherine and Henry joke about. For one thing, all young people are expected to be in some sort of romantic relationship constantly. Young people are also supposed to put a lot of value and their identity into these relationships no matter how brief and meaningless they are. As long as your girlfriend or boyfriend is handsome or pretty then it is considered a good relationship. Whoever is in a romantic relationship is also supposed to be very intimate with their boyfriend or girlfriend, definitely beyond the bounds of modesty and propriety. And finally as soon as that relationship stops making you happy then you have permission to end it and go find something new."--Maddie Teel                                                                          

 "Some expectations society places on male and female relationships are:  

(1) Dating should start whenever boys and girls begin to like each other and not when they are both mature enough to start a relationship.  It’s important to secure your identity of who you are in Christ, not who you are in your boyfriend or girlfriend, thus it’s very important you are mature enough to understand this before you start in a relationship, making this a bad relationship expectation.  

(2) Within a dating relationship, both people should love/like each other in some way, and this is actually a good relationship expectation compared to some of the relationships in Austen’s time that based off of gaining money or title advantages.  

(3) Finally, if two people really love each other, than there should be no restrictions on how far they can take their relationship, even if they are not married, and thus making it acceptable to overstep God's guidelines for unmarried men and women relationships."--Meredith Teel                                                                             

 "Typical men and women all aspire to be the cutest couple.  There is a term out there called "goals." Everyone aspires to be "relationship goals" or "friendship goals."  There is a problem with this.  You will never ever reach these unrealistic goals.  Sadly people feel pressure to take cute couple pictures or to wear matching outfits because it is what society deems cute.  It is not realistic.  You will get worn out and eventually tear yourselves apart because the stress of becoming the ultimate "goal" is tiring." --Elise Canada

 "Nowadays, on relationship issues, our culture is pressing for males and females to be more "equal" in relationships. Men are traditionally the ones who take the first step, asking a woman to date him, asking a woman to dance, and asking for a woman's hand in marriage. It was seen as improper for a woman to ask a man anything like that, and todays culture is changing things like that. In a couple ways this change might be okay, like if a man likes a woman but is too shy ask her out, that sort of thing. Culture is kind of pressing that men step back in a relationship, and women become more directing. Women having more "equality" in relationships is changing expectations on men. They don't hold open doors for women anymore, when a man and woman go out to dinner, they usually split the bill, chivalry has pretty much gone out the window. Men have less respect for women now. Even though the way of dating back in Austen's time seems silly, there was still more respect for both genders. Also, the dating age seems to be getting lower." --Sarah Stone 

► welcome ◄

Happy Thursday, everybody! 

I'd like to take a small moment to welcome you all to the official blog of  Wilson Hill Academy's Jane Austen summer class. 

Basically, we're a class of literature nerds who a) love to learn, b) love anything and everything Jane Austen related, and c) love our teacher (seriously, he's pretty amazing). 

The class covers the novels of Jane Austen, as well as things regarding her personal life, her views on relationships, and the things that we need to learn as high-school students for present and future experiences. 

Every week we participate in lively interactive discussion boards outside of class time, which thoroughly enriches the experience inside the classroom. 

We plan to post recaps of these discussions, quotes & opinions from the actual books, our opinions tied in with the lessons taught by Ms. Austen & Mr. Etter, and perhaps some posts by the author herself (you never know...). 

Jane Austen lived in SUCH a critical time period of the development of mankind. She was born at the tail-end of the enlightenment and experienced the first few decades of the Romantic era. Between the differences in society and social graces of pure tradition, Jane's world was quite different from the world we see today. 

So... Why should we read Jane Austen? 

The answer isn't a certain thing to put into specific words... But here are some of our responses: 

"Jane Austen’s many books are not simply romantic stories which have no great significance. Austen gives us a glimpse into 19th century England including its culture, language, and arts of that time. In addition, Austen’s books can be viewed as character studies, since she brilliantly develops each character in her stories as well as their plots. By reading these books, people in the 21 century can learn not only about the history, culture, and language of that time, but also learn how to communicate with people, read people, and learn about humanity as a whole, and apply that knowledge to life."

 - Evangeline. 

"Jane Austen's novels, although fictional, provide an interesting almost personal insight into the 17-1800s in the United Kingdom.  Although, in today's world, the expectations are very different than in the 18th century, her novels help us realize that we can trust God to work in our lives, rather than trusting ourselves to make all the right decisions based on the expectations of the world.  Even the decisions that seem the most wrong to us, he can work them out to amazing conclusions if it is in his will."

 - MaryBeth.

"Why read and study Austen? - In society today, people are more focused - than ever before - on dumbing each other down until we're nothing but tolerant animals. The very idea of disagreeing with someone is simply repulsive to the majority of our reality. One of my favorite parts of the Austen novels are the scenes of disagreement that she has written. No matter what the circumstances are, the characters always treat each other in a manner of civility... That being said, they aren't afraid to voice their own opinions. In the society that Austen wrote towards, disagreement was healthy. People attacked problems, instead of people; which is something that we all need lessons in."

- Petra.

"Jane Austen's themes are universal and stand the test of time.  Social interactions, including love, social status, duty, morality, economic situations and manners are still relevant.  Through reading Austen's novels, we become aware of our interactions with other people and how our actions affect those around us.  The characters also teach us to take accountability for our choices." 

- Ashlyn.

"Jane Austen's novels have claimed a place on the best sellers list for centuries.  Scholars have studied them, movies have been created about them, and students discussed them.  Austen's novels are eloquently written.  Her books prove to be thought provoking, but at the same time one can find themselves completely lost in her world.  The brain is studying as well as enjoying the read.  Her books are craftily disguised as romance novels, but it really provides a looking glass to different traits of human nature.  Austen's novels are the ultimate happily ever after story.  Before the Kardashians, people had the Bennets, the Woodhouses, and the Dashwoods."

- Elise.

"I think reading Jane Austen has many benefits, for one thing her books are considered classics and give important insight to another day and age. I also think it would be safe to say that Austen's novels shaped the novel genre. But most importantly Austen gives very important insight into human character. Decades may separate the 21st century from Austen's time but human nature is still the same. Austen can teach us to recognize the scoundrels of the world as well as the saints."

- Maddie.

"Among other invaluable lessons about life and love, Austen's novels provide us with great insight into relationships, their benefits and flaws, their triumphs and difficulties, overall providing her readers with knowledge about the human nature and the role it plays within relationships.  In today's world, especially in America, we have become a society that is very "me, myself and I" focused within our relationships with each other.  The divorce rate in America is at 50%, and one central cause for divorce nowadays is that one or both spouses are not "happy" within their marriage, they are tried of putting up with their spouse and long to have the "freedom" to find their own happiness again.  Thus, the lessons provided in Austen's work, such as sacrificial love, learning how to be content, and not allowing your feelings to run off with your better judgement, are all vital for us to study and take to heart in this modern age, so that we can become better fortified against falling prey the lies of society, such as that my happiness is my only concern, and overall learning how see the "we" not just the "me.""

- Meredith.

 "Many people think that Jane Austen is just about cheesy romances and her novels don't apply today, but that is not true for many reasons. Austen's writings show us many role models to try and live after, like Elinor, personality traits and attributes to obtain: kindness, selflessness, manners, and they also display attributes to look for in a spouse. There are also small life lessons you can learn also. Like becoming a person of substance, living a principled life, and to treasure your friends and family. Her faith is also reflected in her works, and her characters and novels provide good encouragement to people trying to live morally and godly in a corrupt and sinful world."

- Sarah.

Again, welcome to our blog and be sure to watch for more posts in the near future!